Toward the end of revising and shaping Water Castle, I began creating a playlist on Youtube for the book, a ‘soundtrack’ of sorts. I had seen other writers do this, and I loved the idea. Like most writers, music is an integral part of my life, and I often hear a soundtrack playing in my head when I reflect on events. Certain songs are associated with specific events and now poems. Loosely following the order of the book, I enjoyed arranging the songs and ‘making a mixtape,’ like I was back in the 90’s.
Because music is so personal and beloved to me, I’ve been feeling very shy about sharing this, but I created it, and it’s been on mind to share it, just in case someone does enjoy it. I added notes to each song for context, if you’re interested–
Bob Dylan with Johnny Cash “Girl from the North Country”
When I was an undergraduate student and began taking poetry classes for fun (my major was in horticulture), I had a professor at Clemson who played Bob Dylan songs and had us analyze them. I thought to myself that my professor had the coolest job in the world! I wished that I could also teach poetry one day, but I didn’t think it was possible (especially since said prof discouraged all of us from it). This song, being more simplistic lyrically, was not one of the songs we analyzed, but Dylan became a huge influence on me poetically in my early days. I also was enamored by the fact that Dylan was Midwestern and wanted to escape and conceal his roots. I was fascinated by this and wrote some poems about it (which never made it to publication). However, in my head, I was the girl from the North Country, even though South Bend is not northern Minnesota and my “borderline” is the one with Michigan. One of the long poems in my book references this, “A City On The Edge of Your Border.”
Lord Huron “The Ghost On The Shore”
As you might know, the founder of this band named it after Lake Huron and his memories of visiting there as a child. The Great Lake I visited often as a child and teen was a different one (Lake Michigan), yet I strongly relate to this song and its overall message. The refrain, “I’m the lord of the lake, and I don’t want to leave it” recalls my nostalgia and connection to the area I grew up in, as South Bend is about a 45 min. drive from “the beach.” There are many memories involving family and friends in that specific place for me, and though I moved away from Indiana when I graduated high school and thought that I would never return, I came back some time after college, drawn in by the emotional pull of the people and place. I have multiple poems in the book which reference Lake Michigan, such as, “I Am A Great Lake.”
The Peasants Soundtrack L.U.C. “Jagna” Even before I read the classic Polish epic, The Peasants, I started listening to the soundtrack of the recent film adaptation (although I waited to watch the film after finishing the book!). Water Castle used to be a very different book until about 6 years ago, when I gave myself permission to delve more into my roots. Influential to this decision was meeting Diane Seuss and reading her work, especially, Still Life With Two Dead Peacocks and a Girl. Delving more into Polish culture has been a way of connecting with more deeply with my family, departed grandparents, and with myself. I have numerous poems about my grandparents in the book and my maternal Polish side.
Sugarloaf “Green-eyed Lady” This song came out in 1970, when my dad was 21 and my mom was 19. They grew up in the Rum Village neighborhood in South Bend, met as teens at a local dancehall, and would eventually get married. There are a few poems that mention their meeting, in particular, “I Was Born of A Riverbend Dancehall.” My dad once told me that this song reminded him of my mom (at that point, they had been divorced for a very long time). I once wrote a poem that mentioned my mom’s eyes, which are very striking, as well as my own eyes. Now that I think of it, I’m not sure where that poem went! Nevertheless, it’s not in the final cut of the book, but some lines of it are in another poem, “How I’ve Been Described.”
Nina Simone “Ain’t Got No, I Got Life” (a medley of two songs from the musical Hair)
This song continues to uplift me, but I developed a particular affection for it when I was going through extremely tough times. I allude to these days in several poems, especially, “O Fortune, Are you Listening?” For all of the years that my kids were under the age of 10, I was getting my life together. We often lived on our own (things were up and down with their dad, as well as with my family) and though I was working full time as a florist and adjunct, we still lived below poverty level. I don’t want to romanticize this–one of my favorite episodes of Rachel Zucker’s Commonplace podcast was with Gabrielle Calvocaressi, who talked about how frustrating it is when people romanticize poverty and also mental illness (as she grew up with a mother who was experiencing both). However, though I know this song’s lyrics were not literal for me, sometimes it felt like it. Yet, the driving, freewheeling force behind the song is incredible.
Simon and Garfunkel “America”
When I was a little girl, I disliked most popular music, like New Kids on The Block, which literally made me nauseous. I was obsessed with my mom’s record collection, in particular The Beatles and Simon and Garfunkel, as well as Paul Simon’s album, Graceland. Of course this song is an easily recognizable classic and reminds me of childhood, but it’s mention of Michigan and leaving to find America was always something I could relate to, as I left Indiana at 18 and never thought I would be back. A poem which alludes to this situation in particular is, “The Air Turns Soft & Thick When I’m Listening.”
Sufjan Stevens “To Be Alone With You”
This is a gorgeous song which has been playing on my speakers and in my head for many, many years. The opening line, “I’d swim across Lake Michigan…” makes it feel very relevant to the themes in the beginning of my book. Though Sufjan Stevens never did an Indiana album, their Illinois and Michigan albums were very important for my Midwestern identity.
Sanah “Rozwijając Rilkego” (J. Cygan)
I was attempting to learn Polish for a while, which is not an easy language. My maternal grandparents spoke it, but didn’t really want their children speaking it, as they wanted them to assimilate. My mom knew few words and so it was with me. I remember sometimes hearing my grandparents bicker in Polish (although being a child at the time I didn’t know that’s what it was), and I would listen extra hard to try to figure out what they were saying. While trying to learn Polish, I decided to listen to Polish music to help with learning the language. Sanah is a popular Polish singer. This song is from a series of songs based on poems. The lyrics are from the poem “Rozwijając Rilkego” by Jacek Cygan which references Rilke (but I couldn’t tell you much more about it, other than it deals with God and death). I particularly love the aesthetic of this video and how Sanah is lying in a field, waving a leek(?) or onion plant. It just reminds me of myself and how obsessed with gardening I’ve always been.
The Peasants Soundtrack L.U.C. “Wole Wolta“
I loved using another Polish folk-inspired song from The Peasants soundtrack to add to the mix. In the film, this song plays during an intense dance between lovers Antek and Jagna at the village inn, which serves as bar and dancehall, etc. I happened to meet my partner at a dancehall (as did my parents and also my maternal grandparents). Who says Polish culture is so different from Jamaican culture? (see entry below)
Popcaan “Firm and Strong”
The last section of my book I refer to as my “Jamaica section,” as it delves more into my relationship, kids, and cultural differences with my Jamaican partner. Before meeting him, I got very into a local reggae night (which is sadly no longer) and became a regular there. I loved that the atmosphere was so different from a typical American bar and that there was so much focus on actual dancing (I also enjoyed going to salsa clubs for this reason, but reggae night really hooked me). This is where we ended up meeting, as described in the poem, “Stairwell Into The Drum of The Earth.” As he is very into Jamaican reggae and dancehall music, I learned a lot and came to love the music even more. Popcaan has been one of my favorite artists since and this song in particular has kept me going through some rough times. I didn’t include any ‘real’ dancehall songs in this soundtrack, as they’re a bit too provocative!
Beirut “Mount Wroclai”
Many years ago, I got into this band’s brassy “Balkan folk” sound. This song is from an album that touches on German and Slovakian references. My father was in a family band as child and they played music which I imagine sounded like this. As I mention throughout the book, his parents were ethnically German (born in Austria and Polish Silesia, respectively). I mention the family band in “The Two Grandmothers.”
Chronixx “I Can”
Chronixx is a Jamaican reggae artist who was just becoming big at the start of my relationship, and I was hearing a lot of his music everywhere. He writes and performs ‘conscious’ feel-good music which is incredibly inspiring, especially when you are down and struggling. As is well-known through my writing, I have always struggled with mental health, and when I started going to reggae night, I literally thought of it as my ‘happy place,’ as I was in one of the worst depressions I have ever been in when I started going there.
Busy Signal and RC “Dreams of Brighter Days”
As mentioned above, though I love a variety of music (and plenty of it ‘depressing’), sometimes, I rely on upbeat music to help get me through. Reggae is like a natural anti-depressant. I touch on some of the hardships I have faced, especially when my kids were young, in such poems like, “Lilies Falling From The Ceiling” This particular song is one which has helped me get through.
Grateful Dead “Brokedown Palace”
Like so many, Grateful Dead was a high school favorite of mine. I included this song since I relied on the Dead during hard times, too. In this section of the book I was often leaving, disappointed, and creating my own bed, my own space. This is exemplified in “The Lovers.”
Violent Femmes “Good Feeling”
Yet another high school favorite which held up, especially in this song. I don’t have too much to say here since I’ve already discussed the tensions and struggles in the book, except that I was always praying for the good feelings to stay.
The Cure “A Forest”
I loved The Cure since I was child, making up dance routines to some of their songs (along with other artists) which my neighbor and I performed for our parents! For some reason, while I was in the final years of really putting together my manuscript, I would often listen to this song while running and thinking about the book. I like the progression throughout; I like the place the song takes me. I also love forests!
The Fugees “Ready or Not”
This song is on the famous album, The Score, specifically mentioned in, “I Am A Great Lake.” That coming of age poem was also written as a tribute to my childhood best friend (who is still my best friend). Many memories of our wayward and dangerous ways were documented in this poem. Our soundtrack for about a year was this Fugees album. I also have a potent connection to this album and my first love, who makes shadowy appearances in a couple of poems: “Place The Lightning Bolt In Your Hair” and “The Wind In From Chicago.”
Cake “Frank Sinatra”
My Polish grandpa loved ‘Old Blue Eyes,’ and I loved the band Cake. I can’t say a lot about this one except that this band has held up for me, and that I also listened to this a lot during the era of revising in my head while running.
Elliot Smith “St. Ides Heaven”
There are so many live versions of this that I love, but this one in particular is great. I included this song because in the poem, “Happy The World Could Blur,” I specifically mention St. Ides, that sickly sweet malt liquor which was popular somehow in the 90’s. I didn’t like it all (my preference for vodka has been noted!), but usually drank what was offered to me. Sadly, Smith, genius song writer that he was, could not escape his demons. In this poem, I talk about how I eventually did escape mine, at least in getting sober (though I very rarely and occasionally will drink). Alcohol was central to my coming of age and so features in the coming of age poems.
Tori Amos “Cornflake Girl”
In the poem, “It was Mango Season,” I talk about not even believing what is happening in my life–it all happened so suddenly, and I found myself in over my head. Listening to Tori Amos (“this is not really happening”), goddess of my girlhood, connects me back to remembering my feminine power, especially when patriarchal forces are trying to ‘flatten’ me. I’ll never forget someone in workshop saying that the image of the banana tree leaves being flattened by the rain perfectly exemplified what was happening to the speaker, which I did not consciously realize until that moment!
Social Distortion “Reach for The Sky”
I love the accordion in this song; I’ve always been a sucker for accordion, which my Polish grandpa actually played. I loved Social D in high school, and recently found some of these acoustic versions. This song became inspirational for me, and fits the redemptive tone of the end of the book.
Beirut “Scenic World”
More accordion. This song feels like a conclusion or revelation, a happy moment. The last poem of my book, “I Learned Love Late,” is a resolution poem, showing how there has been hard earned happiness in my life, in moments, many moments, in fact.
Natalie Solmer-Writing +Art 